Hey White man, I will NOT fulfill your sick fetish – Black African woman

This is something we really need to address. This entire travesty of white men coming to Africa, to fulfill their ‘master’ and ‘slave girl’ fetish, needs to be addressed and forced to a stop.

I recently went to a club in an East African city, with two of my close girlfriends. We were having a good time, until two older White men decided to make themselves at home at our table. One of them went a step further, by sitting next to one of my girlfriends, and began inappropriately touching her leg, hands and back. I am not sure whether these men didn’t know how to read social cues or whether they were just intentionally ignoring our cold behaviour, my girlfriend swatting his hand away each time he would touch her and our blatant and express demands for them to leave our table. After determining that these awful men were simply not going to leave us be, I asked for our bill, so that we could pay and leave. As soon as I got the bill, a tug of war ensued between me and the man who was inappropriately touching my girlfriend. He wanted to pay our bill and I was simply not having it. Eventually, he snatched the bill away and proceeded to pay. In his sick and twisted mind, his paying the bill was his way of concluding a ‘sex transaction’ – A sick conclusion of “I paid the bill so now you must sleep with me”. 

After this, I got up and asked the waiter for another table to accommodate my girlfriends and I. I then asked the waiter if I could pay for our bill and then have the club return the White man’s money, of which they refused and explained that refunds were against club policy. As we had come out to have a good time, I wasn’t going to let an uncouth excuse of a man spoil our night, so we proceeded to have ourselves a damn good time!

An hour later, the club hostess (who seemed to have known the White men on a personal level) and manager approached us, and informed us that the man who paid, did not wish to pay our bill anymore and so we would have to pay the bill. I. Was. Livid. Long story short, I went to confront these men and went absolutely ballistic on them.

Let’s just back track and itemize the appalling behaviour and disdain for us black women, that these White men displayed:

Firstly, these two men invited themselves to our table and made themselves comfortable. Totally disregarding our right to privacy. After all, as Black women, we cannot even be considered humans, worthy of the enjoyment of basic human rights. Secondly, the man who was inappropriately touching my girlfriend, did so without her consent and kept on sexually accosting her, even after she swatted his hand away numerous times and told him to stop and leave. Again, Black women are not seen as human beings. Just sexual objects, who do not get to enjoy the right to bodily integrity. Thirdly, the fact that the White man, became bitter about us leaving after he paid the bill, goes to show that these men immediately depicted us as ‘easy’ women who would oblige to their sex fantasies after a money transaction. These men did not know us from a bar of soap, but came to this conclusion about us anyway. Which leads me believe that, this is how they perceive every Black African woman.

As a Black African woman, our troubles in this world are in threefold. Sexism and racism – Misogynoir. Then by virtue of being African, we are seen as uncivilized and easy to conquer. The Black woman is the least privileged human in the human race, and this is especially highlighted in our engagements with White men, who insist on asserting their dominance on us, as men and white people. They have been doing this since the era of slavery and colonization, where they took Black women as their property (literally!) and raped them, make children with them then dispose of them. That was an egotistical power trip for them, and the same pattern (although differently exhibited) has carried on into the contemporary era.

My message to all the White men who feel entitled to our black female bodies and see us as objects to be used and disposed of, it is not going to happen. We are long past that era, and in this era, we fight back.

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