As I approach my 25th year on this earth, I have been doing a lot of reflecting, particularly reflecting on how much I have developed in the past few years.
Between the ages of 20 and 25, I can honestly say that I have matured a lot, gone through challenging (HARD) times and have become a lot more self-aware and comfortable in my own skin.
In my journey of self-development and self-awareness – which is still ongoing, do not get me wrong! – there are some life lessons that I have learnt which I live by, and help keep me on the right track, which is often difficult in your early twenties since it is a time for aggressive self discovery and confusion.
TRUST YOUR GUT
I don’t think I can stress this one enough, and it is most probably the most important lesson I have learnt to date. Always, ALWAYS trust your gut.
YOU SET THE STANDARD FOR HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED
I am a Pisces, so that means I have a very big and loving heart, however I am in my own head a lot of the time, passive at times and frequently non-nonchalant about a lot of things. Unfortunately, for me, human beings can be very shitty, and confuse the above attributes for weakness. This in turn translates into being taken advantage of. At first, I would shrug such things off but then after a while it would really start to upset me, to the point that I erupt in unprecedented anger. But the people whom the anger is directed at often don’t understand where this anger is coming from. What I realize is that other people are not like me. Because I have shown them that their taking advantage of me will be responded to with nonchalance, I have essentially given them permission to continue to take liberties with me. So therefore I cannot really be upset for inadvertently detailing the blueprint for how I expect to be treated. And this feeds into my next point…
COMMUNICATE YOUR WANTS AND NEEDS
This is fairly simply. All that you want and expect of others needs to be communicated. Other people unfortunately do not live in our minds, so that means they would not know what it is that we are thinking if we do not say exactly what is on our minds.
SHOWING YOUR EMOTIONS AND VULNERABILITIES IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS
Last year I went through a very tough break up and I was absolutely heartbroken. For a while I cried for days straight but never once spoke about it with anybody. I literally felt like my heart would never heal. I have always been the strong girl who is normally a pillar of support for others, so I thought that any showcase of vulnerability meant that I lose that important – pillar – role that I have in the lives of so many. So I never really showed my deep emotions to anyone. But what I didn’t realize was that I was doing myself a great disservice. Because once I started talking about my feelings and emotions, the positive and encouraging responses I got from others was absolutely amazing. People were willing to be there for me and listen as I have done for them on numerous occasions. I started talking about my heartbreak and raw emotions and hey, I got over the break up, my heart is almost completely healed and I was a much stronger person for it. So for all the tough girls out there: it is fine to cry, it is fine to show the world that you have vulnerabilities, it is fine to display your raw emotions and none of that makes you a weak person.
….. BUT EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS KEY
Being in control of when and where you choose to invest your emotions, will save you a lot of stress in the long run.
IF SOMEONE IS NOT READY, NO AMOUNT OF LOVE WILL MAKE THEM READY
I think this somewhat speaks for itself. If they are still not ready to give you the love you want, despite the abundance of love you give to them, then let it go and save yourself the heartbreak.
LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE ANYONE ELSE
This is probably the most cliche point BUT it is so important and I have learnt it the hard way. When you do not love yourself as you should, you attract other broken individuals who also do not love themselves. Maybe this explains why many of us attract fuckboys/fuckgirls. As human beings we have an endless amount of love to give,. There is literally no limitation on the love that we have in our ‘love-capital’. But we must invest that love in ourselves first, before it can be invested anywhere, to ensure that the love investment in another, will be a worthwhile investment.
OWN WHO YOU ARE
And live the life that you want to live unashamedly.
LIFE IS REALLY MEANT TO BE LIVED